No More
by Scarbie
Summary: Washing dishes is serious business... well to Jack, anyway.
1. Prologue

**Title:** No More  
**Characters:** Locke and Jack   
**Summary:** What happened 5 seconds after Locke's temper tantrum in episode 2.15  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the craziness that is _LOST_.

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" Jack said as he rushed into the kitchen area, wishing that he still had the gun he surrendered to the "Others." He heard a great deal of crashing and wondered if Henry had escaped somehow. Jack was relieved to see that the vault was still secured but was disturbed by the scene in front of him. 

The dish rack was on the floor and broken dishes and bowls were scattered on the counter, the floor, everywhere. And Locke was just standing there. Looking pissed.

Jack shook his head and did a half shrug.

"The hell is going on, Locke?"

The older man turned and gave the doctor a harsh stare. "I ain't washing no more dishes, Jack. That's over."

TBC

**A/N:** I can't say that I was happy with the way Locke reacted to Henry's goading. It seemed out of character for him but washing the dishes after that would've pissed me off too. Let Jack wash the friggin' dishes.


	2. Burden of Leadership

Chapter 2: Burden of Leadership  
**Characters:** Jack   
**Summary:** Jack considers who will replace Locke on dish washing duty. It's what a leader has to do.

* * *

Locke made it clear that he wasn't going to wash anymore dishes when he stalked out of the hatch leaving Jack to clean the result of his temper tantrum. 

The doctor looked in the cupboards and breathed a sigh of relief seeing that there was still placeware in reserve. Certainly not enough to serve everyone at the same time but it wasn't like they were going to have dinner as one big happy family anyway.

Clearly Jack had to protect the few dishes that remained. Locke was definitely unstable and could not be trusted cleaning the fragile items.

John was right; his days of washing dishes were over.

As their leader Jack would have to delegate the task to someone else. Washing the dishes himself did not come to mind _at all_. He was doing more than he should, bent down with a damp sponge in one hand and sprinkling generic powdered cleaner with the other.

Jack thought of the people on the island and who he could ask.

Charlie was more than likely a heroin addict again. He probably wouldn't do a good job cleaning the dishes because druggies lived in squalor, right?

Claire was too busy with the baby.

Sawyer. Sawyer was a fucking prick and had all the guns.

Sayid provided necessary services. If he felt like cleaning he would. Plus Jack didn't feel comfortable asking the interrogator to wash dishes.

Kate might do it but she would have some ulterior motive. She was tricky. Beautiful but tricky.

Sun acted as their pharmacist, mixing up the indigenous herbs to create remedies. Her husband Jin helped put food on the table. It wasn't his fault that Locke smashed half the dishes that the food would be placed in.

Hurley... what did he do besides say dude a lot? Well, he did lift people's spirits. Making that golf course had been pure genius.

Poor Michael was just too overwhelmed with worry about his son. Jack knew that asking him to do something like this would be out of the question. Again, cleaning the dishes himself never occurred to him.

The doctor considered the newest additions to their group as he scrubbed at a particularly greasy patch of floor.

Ana-Lucia would probably try to kick his ass. Mr. Eko was just too busy being creepy carrying around big sticks. Libby might be willing to help but she might use psychology to get out of it.

Rose, he just couldn't imagine asking her to wash dishes. It just seemed so wrong. Her husband Bernard on the other hand... what did he do? What did he contribute? He was a strong prospect for being the replacement scullery man.

Jack frowned as he got back to his feet. He knew that he would have to make a decision soon. Maybe after getting some sleep things would come easier to him. He shrugged and shook his head lightly.

Being a leader was tough. He didn't ask for the position but someone had to do it.

TBC

**A/N: **I see one more chapter of this and then it'll be completely out of my system. I hope.


	3. Serious Business

**Chapter 3:** Serious Business   
**Characters:** Jack vs. everyone   
**Summary:** Jack speaks with everyone about the dish problem and doesn't get the expected results.

* * *

"First, I just want to thank you all for coming. What I have to say is very important," Jack told his fellow islanders that gathered around the hatch. 

He looked at each person with measured intensity. "We have a problem."

Many looked apprehensive, Eko looked calm, Locke looked as if he didn't want to hear any of it and Sawyer just looked bored.

"You're right about that. When I went to get a bowl of Dharma Oats or whatever we didn't have any bowls left. What happened to all the bowls, Jack?" Bernard asked.

The doctor sighed. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you all about. There was an incident." Jack's eyes trailed over to where Locke leaned against a palm tree.

"Someone dropped the plates?"

Jack looked down at the ground and nodded his head slightly. When he almost felt ready to speak again he looked up at the sky and raised his eyebrows then he returned his attention to Bernard. "You can say that."

"Let me get this straight," Sawyer interjected as he maneuvered to the front of the crowd, "you called us all out here to talk about some damn dishes."

"This is important. We need to divide the duties fairly. These duties happen to include washing the dishes. Obviously things can't continue the way they have been."

"Well shit, seems to me if everyone just washed their own damn dishes there wouldn't be any problem."

The con man's logic caused everyone to murmur.

Jack decided to ignore the surprisingly sage advice and continued with his speech.

"As I was saying," Jack said with an edge to his voice, "we need to have someone (emphasis on the one) that is dependable to wash the dishes because..."

Michael who shook his head furiously interrupted him.

"I can't believe we're all out here talking about this or listening to this. My _son_ is out there and those people are doing who knows what to him. I got to get my _son_ back, man. I'm not worried about dishes!"

Jin who was standing with his arm around Sun's waist could hear how upset his friend was. Even though there was a language barrier he knew that that Michael was talking about Walt. He walked over to where the distressed man was standing and patted him on the back.

Michael looked at the Korean man, his eyes asking for someone to understand what he was going through.

Jin nodded his head and patted Michael on the back again. Sun looked on her husband and beamed. This was the man that she married.

Jack moved by Michael's entreaty had to clear his throat several times before he began again.

"Look... Michael," Jack said, having to look down due to the depth of his sincerity, "I can't say that I understand how you feel as a father but I want Walt safe and back here with all of us. The thing is," he groped for the right words, "we have to tackle each problem as the opportunity arises and right now it's time to get this dish situation under control. As soon as this is over we'll start brainstorming on how to go about getting Walt back."

Michael furrowed his brows, really focused on what Jack was saying. The doctor crossed his arms and nodded saying with body language, "It makes sense doesn't it. You know I'm right."

The serious expression that crossed Michael's face was due to him trying to understand what the hell Jack was talking about. It made so little sense that his head actually began to hurt as he replayed it in his mind and tried to break it down where it would seem logical. The only thing that ended up breaking down was his patience.

"All right."

Jack smiled thinking that the boy's father was seeing things his way but he got excited before hearing all that Michael had to say.

"All right, I had enough of listening to this craziness. I'm outta here," and he stormed off with a look of determination in his eyes.

Claire looked on Michael's retreating form as she rocked Aaron, lulling the baby to sleep. She knew how it felt to lose a child and hated that Michael had to go through it. All this talk of dishes was ridiculous at a time like this.

She also left. Aaron needed to be put in his crib anyway.

The departure of those two sparked the mass exodus of the rest of the islanders like people walking out of an awful movie, leaving Jack all by himself.

He could only look on with a vacant stare as everyone went about his or her regularly scheduled programs.

It couldn't end like this; things weren't resolved. Jack shook his head. He need resolution.

He didn't return to the hatch because Locke was there and he just didn't feel like being around him at this moment. If it weren't for the bald man's temper tantrum, he wouldn't have to deal with all this.

As hours passed, he tried to think about who would be the most willing to help and the first person that came to mind was Jin. Now that Jack understood the man better it seemed that the once surly and violent Jin was very kind and helpful.

When the de facto leader approached Jin, he gave the fisherman a smile that was quickly returned.

"Jin, I can count on you, right? We could use your help with the dishes."

Jin looked up and smiled and nodded and Jack walked away with a sense of accomplishment. Now he could start tackling other problems.

Jin watched Jack walking away. The taller man had a spring to his step.

"What just happened?" Jin asked in Korean.

Sun shook her head and smiled. "Honey, you just agreed to wash the dishes." She gently ran a hand through his hair.

A cold cast came into Jin's eyes as he yelled, "Fuck you, Jack!" in his native language.

The only thing that Jack caught was his name. He turned around looking puzzled. He wondered what Jin had said, the man almost sounded mad.

Sawyer who was in earshot hollered over to Jack, "I think he just said, 'Fuck you!' in Korean, Doc."

Some things were universal.

Later that day, Kate sidled up to Jack. He was always cautious when she was around but he couldn't say he disliked her company.

"What's going on, Kate?"

She gave him a half smirk. "Everyone has thought about what you had to say this morning..."

"Yeah?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows and wanting her to continue.

"We think that washing our own dishes is the best idea."

Jack couldn't believe it. Sawyer upstaged him, again. He was still burning from Sawyer's announcement weeks ago that there was a new sheriff in town.

"Huh," he said noncommittally.

"And you had a can of fruit cocktail earlier. Your spoon is still in the sink, Jack." She gave him a bright smile.

With a wave she left him standing near the sink and indeed the only dirty item was a spoon. Everyone else must have cleaned their dishes.

He sighed turning on the water and checking to see if there was soap still on the sponge. He never would have thought that a sponge would be a symbol of defeat.

THE END

A/N: Yup, Jack is going to have to wash his own dishes! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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